A lot of the time when you tell someone that you’re bisexual, they ask for your credentials. They ask how many men have you dated? How many women have you dated? Which one do you prefer? Which one have you had more sex with? These are incredibly personal questions that you wouldn’t ask a straight or gay person, but bisexuality has “less validity” so we get asked all these stupid, intimate questions. And if you don’t want to answer then someone will make assumptions about you but if you do answer, and the fact is out of the three people you fucked two of them are one gender and one of them is the other then people will decide whether you are gay or straight, they’ll make the decision for you.
Q:I've been going out with a great dude for a couple months now, and it's both of our first times dating guys, so we've been kinda skittish about stuff. In particular, I've got the immediate difficulty of having a hard time "taking", even with a significant amount of lube and patience. Do you have any advice? (also your ASK ME HERE links to your old tumblr, I think, it doesn't seem to work.)
Thank you for pointing that out bb!
A couple of things:
Check it’s the right kind of lube. Sex shops have special anal lube which is a bit heavier duty and make a huge difference compared to supermarket stuff which feels like spit or vaseline.
Invest in some smaller toys (WITH FLARED BASES) and do not progress past them until you’re really enjoying them. Sometimes people interpret patience as ‘keep trying to stick a cock or a dildo in your butt and don’t give up’, or ‘ok I can just fit this thing in so time to move up!’. Not saying that’s what’s happened here, but you really have to start small and stay small until you’re having a great time, and then move up a small notch, rinse and repeat.
Also prolonged plays can be helpful. Find a toy you like (recommend a long but not too wide vibrator) and have play sessions with it. By yourself too! If the vibrating sensation feels good and evens out any initial discomfort, it means before you’ve noticed you’ve had something up your butt for a while and your body is adjusting the whole time.
Good luck x